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Having Fun
With Mojo
The election is a long way off, but I'm ready for the next day
Hey kids! Mojo here! With everybody already in high gear for the 2008 election, I got to thinking about what I'll need to do the day after the November 2008 election!
1. Announce the start of Phase Two of the remodeling plan for the Governor's Mansion, including movie theatre, bowling alley and rooftop heliport.
2. Instruct my staff to get me booked more often on network talk shows -- Hoppy's getting tired of having me on.
3. Start rumor that President-elect Hillary Clinton is considering me for a major cabinet appointment, so I can announce later that I turned it down.
4. Call John Unger to console him and remind him that there have probably been election losses more lopsided than his.
5. Start cutting back on weekly phone calls to Byrd -- unless he misses a couple of committee meetings.
Gary Howell seeks Jon Blair Hunter's Senate seat
Keyser entrepreneur wants to make WV open to better jobs
GARY HOWELL
Keyser businessman and former Mineral County commission candidate Gary Howell today announced his candidacy for the state Senate for the 14th District.
The seat is currently held by Democrat Jon Blair Hunter, who announced he will not be seeking reelection next year.
Howell, a Republican, is owner and operator of Howell Automotive in Keyser, a leading supplier of auto parts. In 2003, Gary was named “Exporter of the Year” by the U.S. Small Business Administration. He was honored by the West Virginia Motor Sports Council in 2005 for promoting West Virginia across the country.
In his first political race in 2006, Howell sought a seat on the Mineral County Commission, falling short against incumbent Cindy Pyles by fewer than 600 votes out of more than 7,000 votes cast.
A lifelong West Virginian, Howell received a Bachelor of Arts Degree in Management from Frostburg State University's School of Business in 1990. He has built his successful automotive supply company over the course of 17 years.
“I understand what it takes to build a successful small business,” said Howell. “I also understand why it’s difficult for small business owners to succeed in West Virginia. We need to eliminate punitive taxes and reform our justice system so West Virginia can truly be open for business.”
Howell said his campaign would also focus on issues like education, private property rights, safer neighborhoods and better jobs.
“I’m excited to campaign on issues important to the people of the 14th District,” said Howell. “I look forward to traveling the district and sharing my message of a brighter future for this generation and generations to follow.”
West Virginia missing the boat by failing to exploit Bat Boy story
Did you all know that Bat Boy, the sharp toothed, bug-eyed creature who often graces the cover of the Weekly World News, was originally discovered in a West Virginia cave?
Maybe you did, but I didn't until I was peru-
sing a recent edition of the esteemed tabloid (please don't ask me why).
Bat Boy was first discovered in 1991, and since then has become quite the celebrity, alternately endorsing candidates for president (including Al Gore in 2000), rescuing children in distress, but also terrorizing neighborhoods from time to time. I'm very surprised that West Virginia's personal Homeland Security boss, John Unger, hasn't done more to capture Bat Boy.
According to the Bat Boy entry in the online encyclopedia Wikipedia, "...the only person who cares about the chiropteran child is Dr. Ron Dillon, who discovered him in a West Virginia cave. At the time of capture, he was two feet tall and weighed nineteen pounds. By February 2001, he was 2' 6". In 2004, he was five feet tall and his weight was unknown. He sheds his wings every three years, and regenerates a new pair."
However, Bat Boy has also been referred to in Weekly World News as having been discovered in a cave in the Ozark Mountains, which, as Wikipedia points out, is nowhere near West Virginia. No big deal -- Bat Boy has probably been discovered more than once.
Nevertheless, if anyone has any information on the location of the West Virginia cave where Bat Boy was discovered, please let me know. I think there is money to be made. I think the West Virginia Division of Tourism is missing an opportunity. I think another state-sponsored episode of that hit TV series, "Where in West Virginia is Governor Manchin?" is waiting to be produced.
"Hi, Governor Manchin here. Today I'm inside the actual cave where Bat Boy was discovered back in 1991. Since then, millions have thrilled to the exploits of the strange half boy, half bat who West Virginia is proud to claim as its own. Bat Boy -- another reason West Virginia is Wild and... er, I mean, Open for Business!"
WEST VIRGINIA'S BAT BOY
JUST BECAUSE I CAN -- Elvis Presley is shown leaving the old Daniel Boone Hotel in Charleston back in 1975 on the way to a concert at the Charleston Civic Center. Then-girlfriend Linda Thompson follows, and longtime friend/bodyguard Red West leads the way. August 16 will mark the 30th anniversary of Presley's death, and just because I can, I'll be featuring several Elvis-West Virginia tidbits through the month. I might even present some trivia contests, most likely featuring a copy of "Elephant Wars" as prizes, since I have about ten of them I'm tired of carrying around in my trunk.
