repubgazette8-6-07ungerobamairelandsfathersaintjohn

Having Fun

With Mojo

I wish they would ask me about my position on Iraq!

Hey kids! Mojo here! So far, no one has asked me how I feel about the war in Iraq, or illegal immigration, or lots of other things! I wish they would! After all, as someone who could well be a vice presidential candidate, everyone should want to know my position on those issues! If I ever get asked, here's my plan for Iraq! All we need to do is put up welcome signs to Iraq, and those signs will say, "Iraq - No Terrorists Allowed!" Problem solved! OK, moving on to illegal immigration! Duh! We don't need to build a fence! All we need to do is put up signs along the border every ten feet or so that say, "No Illegal Immigrants Beyond This Point!" So hey, reporters! Bring it on! Most people just don't seem to recognize the power of a good message!

And it came to pass that Saint John and his followers came to a tall mountain in the Valley of Canaan.

And Saint John said unto them, 'I must leave you for a time.'

And his followers were greatly distressed, asking, 'What takest thou from us?'

And Saint John said unto them, 'It is the time of fasting and prayer, and I must go alone to commune with the one who sent me.'

And the crowd was sore amazed, and whispered among themselves, saying, 'How is it that he fasts, and yet his robe is such that it could clothe many men?'

But another, the one called Staff, rebuked the crowd, saying, 'Do not question the one who has been sent to speak truth unto you. He has told you many wondrous things.'

And they were chastened, for they knew it was true that many great things had been promisued unto them.

And so, Saint John ascended unto the mountain, and soon disappeared into a large crevice, and they could no longer behold him.

And they prepared to wait a fortnight, and made a camp so they might sleep.

But lo, within the hour, one among them, an orator of great renown called Nicholous of Casey, said, 'Look. Already Saint John descendeth from the mountain.' And they were sore amazed.

And the crowd beseeched Saint John, saying, 'How do you return to us so soon, having already fasted and communed with the one who sent you?'

And Saint John replied, saying, 'For me, one day is like a thousand years, and one hour is like a day. For you, it was naught until an hour that I toiled for he that provides my sustenance and shelter. But for me, it was nigh upon a week.'

And they pondered what this might mean, and began to doubt his words.

And Saint John saw that those who loved him were restless, and he said unto them, 'O ye of little faith. Do you not know that I am the chosen one, the one sent by he that is called Deetriplesee?

'For this day I have been given a vision here in the Valley of Canaan, and I have seen many great things that are to be visited upon this wicked generation.

'Listen, that ye might have wisdom to understand. For now ye see as through a glass darkly, but then ye shall see as though a veil removed and a lamp revealed.

'And in my vision, I saw a great beast, like unto an elephant. And the elephant had two great tusks, and on each tusk rode a servant of the beast, sent to destroy me and the truth borne in me.

'And on one tusk was a woman, the one whom I have been sent to banish unto a faraway land. And on the other was a great tree, like unto a mighty bush.

'And I spoke unto the beast, saying, Why doest thou persecute me all my days? And the beast speaketh not, but giveth a mighty roar like many trumpets.

'And I was trampled under the beast, and was lay waste, and spoke no more, nor did I move. And no man gave me water that I might drink, nor did any woman wash my cuts, nor any child give me ointment for my bruises.'

And when they heard this, they were stricken, and said, 'O Saint John. Please tell us what we must do so this beast does not trample thee, nor thy voice be silenced, nor thy movements be laid waste.'

And Saint John smiled upon them, for he was glad. And he called his faithful servant, the one called Staff, and said unto them, 'Behold Staff, who has been given many parchments containing the things that I have done and the things that I shall do.

'Take, each of you, these parchments from Staff. And go into each city, and to every village, and to all who live across the land, and place them on each door, that the people might know my name, and will know the miracles I have promised.'

And they gathered around Staff, and took each of them the number of parchments they might need to carry out that which Saint John had commanded.

And as they were leaving, Nicholas said unto Saint John, 'While we go to each city, and to each village, and even unto all the land, what will thou do, o great one who has been chosen by the one called Deetriplesee?'

And Saint John said unto him, 'I shall tarry here a little longer, and take bread, for my fasting was great, being of an hour.'

And they were sore, and amazed.

Elvis Presley's last appearance in Charleston in July of 1976 featured a concert repertoire mostly consistent with the shows he was presenting at the time on most of his tours.

According to the track listing on the bootleg CD, "Charleston Rocks," Elvis' songlist for the show included, in order:

1. See See Rider

2. I Got A Woman

3. Love Me

4. If You Love Me Let Me Know

5. You Gave Me A Mountain

6. All Shook Up

7. Teddy Bear/Don't Be Cruel (medley)

8. And I Love You So

9. Jailhouse Rock

10. Fever

11. Love Letters

12. Hail, Hail Rock and Roll

13. Hurt

14. Hound Dog

15. Funny How Time Slips Away

16. Can't Help Falling in Love

Elvis seldom performed for more than an hour, but even for him this was a truncated show. He usually managed to squeeze about 20 songs into his concerts, but by 1976, he was finding ways to rest during the show, including an expanded method of introducing his band, where he would ask each performer to do a short solo piece.

In fact, two of the songs above were actually instances of Elvis just joining in casually to sing along with the piece being performed as a solo by a member of his band.

Today's trivia question: Name one of the two right answers in regard to which songs listed above were solo performances by members of his band that Elvis decided to join in for a verse or two? (This question is especially designed to thwart a certain Supreme Court justice who has found a sneaky method of quickly finding the answers to previous questions.) Email answers here.

Congratulations to the winners of Friday's Elvis-West Virginia trivia question, which was, "What city in West Virginia did Col. Tom Parker claim as his birthplace?" The answer was Huntington.

Not including His Honor, who is disqualified from winning until I discern his methods, the first two correct answers came from Allen Loughry II, author of "Don't Buy Another Vote, I Won't Pay for a Landslide," and GOP Executive Committee Vice Chairman William Snyder of Lewisburg.

In an interview Friday with MetroNews Talkline host Hoppy Kercheval, state Senator John Unger displayed a foreign policy position that aligned him with Democrats who advocate a "cut and run" position on Iraq, and an amateur outlook on foreign policy on a par with Barack Obama.

As Mitt Romney noted, Obama embarrassed himself last week on his comments about dealing with rogue terrorist nations, and dealing with Pakistan. Romney said of Obama, "He's going to sit down, you know, for tea, with our enemies, but then he's going to bomb our allies."

In an interview with Kercheval that should be required listening for every voter, Unger said we must set a timetable and force Iraqis to take responsibility for their country.

That's an interesting lack of compassion for a guy who brags about the time he has spent in Iraq. According to Unger, it's ok for the U.S. to invade Iraq, engage in a war that naturally leaves the country in shambles and chaos, and then say, hey, after this date, you're on your own.

Regardless of one's feelings on Iraq, it's irresponsible and unrealistic to suggest we should just pull American troops out, come what may.